I’m going to level with you – I fell asleep for a little portion of this film, so perhaps I’m not in the best position to judge just how good it is. For all I know, I could have missed a few snatches of movie-making genius whilst my eyes were closed. Judging on the painful two hours of it I managed to catch however, this doesn’t seem too likely. At all.
I’ll be honest, I’m actually rather thankful that I did take a short nap. I’m happy enough watching a film of 150 minutes in length providing that time is chock-a-bloc with brilliance, making a seemingly daunting duration actually quite an enjoyable prospect. 2012 just dragged, with the reason for this dispersed amongst a number of different factors. Namely: the over-saturation of CGI, the bland characters, the unnecessary amount of scenes featuring a plane dodging falling mountains and buildings, and those cringe-worthy moments where the writers deemed it necessary to try to bring the global event to a personal level through countless “love and loss” situations. I know these are criticisms you can make with virtually any disaster movie, but I’d go as far to say that 2012 really shines at making these faults more prominent and irritating than in most other films in the genre.
The basic plot is this – scientists discover that the world is ending (with a more than subtle nod towards the Mayans’ apocalyptic prediction). The government are informed and construct several arks, on which 40,000 people shall be saved from the catastrophe and will be gifted the grand old task of continuing the human race. Meanwhile, divorced Dad John Cusack and his former family embark on a trip to seek out these glorious government arks, narrowly avoiding getting engulfed in cataclysmic destruction all the while.
To his credit, Cusack deals with the bland role of father/part-time action hero the best he can, and Chiwetel Ejiofor (Love Actually, Children of Men) isn’t half bad in his part as prodigal scientist. Unfortunately any merit the film has is swallowed up in the monolithic plot holes, the uninspiring acting of the rest of the cast and the horrendous overload of “that-wouldn’t-happen” moments.
I’ve been known to be a tad fussy with my film critique, and it’s true that I find myself trudging out of the cinema feeling mightily disappointed more often than not. But I feel that with 2012, regardless of how particular or ruthless I am in my approval of films, regardless of the fact that I spent half an hour snoozing in my comfy cinema chair, reviews should all say pretty much the same thing. It’s rubbish, and there’s no two ways about it.
WHAT TO DO NOW?